Still
by iceblueyes
Summary: Tomoyo still loves him...even though five years had passed. The problem is...she can't let him go...


Author's Notes: I don't own Card Captor Sakura.

_Five years ago…_

"I never expect you wanted to see me again Oniichan", Tomoyo Daidouji said as she was looking at the nineteen year old Eriol Hiiragizawa. She called him Oniichan for he was older than her for two years.

"It's nice to see you again, actually, little sister", he replied as he smiled at her. It was his habit already calling her little sister while she calls him Oniichan. "How's your life little sis.?" He asked. They we're at the Penguin Park as they sat on the swings.

"Still living, still breathing". Was her same reply as always. She looked at him and smiled then looked away. "You?"

"The same as always. There are my good times and bad times". He looked at her with that glint in his eyes. And she knew he was up to something. "How's your love life?"

"Oh still single and loveless. I don't want to have a boyfriend right now".

"Why not?" A sigh from Tomoyo.

"I don't want to fall in love", she replied. She paused as she looked at him and there was confusion on his face. She gave a wry smile.

"Little sis.everybody falls in love".

"And getting hurt in the process is part of the bargain?" she asked. Eriol was shocked for why she asked that. "Sorry Oniichan".

"It's all right. I see what you mean and yes getting hurt is already part of the package when you fall in love", Eriol replied as he fixed his glasses. Tomoyo looked at the sky.

"I understand. That's why I don't want to fall in love yet because I can't handle the pain". A pause and then she continued "But I think I've already fallen in love with someone". She turned and looked at him. "Madly and deeply in fact. I hope he doesn't know". Eriol was shocked to hear that. He didn't know her friend is already in love with someone.

"Do I know him?" She shook her head. "Describe him". She tipped her chin for a while thinking deeply.

"He's taller than me of course. He isn't that handsome but I like his attitude. And maybe that's why I've fallen for him".

"Does he have any talents?"

"He knows how to play the guitar. But I don't know the rest of his talents because I didn't ask".

"Can you tell me his name?" Tomoyo was shocked on that. But she told him anyway.

"K-Ken…Ken is his name", she looked away again so that he would never see the hurt in her eyes.

"Have you met him?" A curt nod from her. "Does he know you love him?" A shook of head from Tomoyo.

"No…but I think he knew. And it's quite obvious. Some of his friends are asking me what I feel for him".

"Just like me! Some of my friends are asking me of what you feel for me!" A wry smile from Tomoyo. "Tomoyo…little sis…is it…me?" Her face turned crimson.

"N-No! O-Of course not!"

"Little sis.don't lie to me". She stood up.

"I-I'm not! His name is Ken!" She changed topic. "H-How are you and Mizuki-san?" Kaho Mizuki was a friend of hers who worked on the Toy Company. She and Tomoyo became friends. Tomoyo introduced Kaho to Eriol and he falls for her. Although Tomoyo doesn't like the idea a girl will be two years older than the boy.

"The same…we're still together", Eriol said as he stood up from his swing and went to her.

"Oniichan have you tried that no matter you want to forget someone special, you can't seem to forget her?" Tomoyo then asked. Eriol wonders again where their topic is going to.

"Yes little sis. Why you can't forget someone special to you?" he asked with a grin. She nodded. "Who?"

"Ken…Sakura told me his my first love. I can't stop falling for him knowing he has another. It's wrong but I just can't…control myself…I still fall for him". Eriol gave a wry smile.

"He must be very lucky", he said in a whisper as he went near her. Close…too close. "Will you ever believed me that I once fall for you little sis.? Yet you treated me as your big brother. Even though you're not my girlfriend yet I treated you as MY girlfriend already". He paused then chuckled. "You must be thinking I'm really crazy. Yet you gave me to somebody else".

"I didn't want to give you to somebody else", she looked away knowing her defenses are betraying her. "And speaking of Ken…Ken is you. I just describe you the other way around".

"I'm so darn right!" He touched her arm as he begins to let her face him and tilt her chin up using his finger. "So you love me all along and you still can't let go?" She looked at him, head high.

"That was the past!"

"Don't lie to me Tomoyo! Not the second time around". He looked away feeling a little embarrassed on what he said. "If given the chance would you allow me to be your boyfriend?" She was shocked on that. Oh and there were many times she claimed him to be hers. But that was just a fantasy.

"Yes but…"he looked at her waiting for her reply. "I don't want our friendship to be broken".

"Same here", Eriol replied. "If you love me how come you gave me to somebody else?"

"You love her anyway don't you?" Tomoyo said, sarcasm in her voice. "What's the use of confessing to you now anyway Oniichan?"

"You already did", he said with a smirk. She blushed in embarrassment. He caught her there. "Why did you give me to Kaho when you loved me?"

"Oh that? I just introduced you to her so that she will have other friends". She paused looking directly at him. She doesn't really like confessing her feelings. It's just not her nature. "You don't even know how painful it is to give you to somebody else and let her love you like I do". She paused looking away. She had always loved him…until now. "But I think your happy now".

"I'm sorry. It's my entire fault why you're acting-"he holds her arm as she moved away. "Little sis.?"

"It really hurts Oniichan knowing that I didn't win your love. But love is not selfish so here I am hurting and yearning for you. Yet I'm happy you know my deepest secret…that I love you". He couldn't believe now what he heard…that she loves him. But all along he knew she loved him. "I think it will never change".

"H-How can you say that?" Eriol asked as he stepped forward as she back away.

"I think I want to believe", she looked at him with tears falling from her amethyst eyes. "That first love never dies". She ran passed him decided to return home. He just stood there, dumbfounded.

"I wish I could turn back time Tomoyo", he said to himself as he turned around to see Tomoyo gone. "I wish I could tell you…I love you…before Kaho came to my life".

_Present time…_

Tomoyo Daidouji was wearing her beautiful purple cocktail dress. Her hair in a neat ponytail as some tresses escapes the knot. A simple necklace around her neck with a small heart shaped pendant that her Mom gave to her. It was her twenty first birthday as relatives and friends we're invited. Including him.

Eriol Hiiragizawa was back after five years and was invited at Tomoyo's party. Still she couldn't deny the fact that…that…

She loves him.

It was wrong! It was stupid! It was insane! Falling for a person who already has a girlfriend is wrong, stupid and insane!

Yet her fragile heart says he's still the one.

For five years she waited for him to come back from England. After that incident on what happened in the Penguin Park, she decides to forget him.

And yet there were certain times she would sit down, relax and think about him. How her head will rest on his shoulders, his arms around her and his lips touching hers giving her first kiss.

She shook her head. It will always be a dream. It's not like there aren't men courting her. They we're many, proposing their undying love for the beautiful lass and yet she decline all. Coz' her heart always belongs to Eriol Hiiragizawa…her Oniichan.

She decided to go to the balcony to relax these crazy thoughts again. It was always him. Him and him alone.

She breathed in the musky air and heard footsteps from behind. She knew it was her Oniichan. "Hi little sis.!" She turned around to be greeted with warm sapphire eyes.

"Hello Oniichan". He was beside her, leaning at the balcony. "I'm so happy you've returned".

"You're happy to see me?" he asked with a grin. She nodded. "Happy birthday!"

"Thank you Oniichan". He fished out something on his pocket and gave it to her. "For me?" A nod from the lad. She opened it and saw a necklace that had her name. "Thank you Oniichan!" She immediately hugs him and he was stunned for a while. And he returned her hug.

"I've waited for this for a long time", Eriol whispered. She held her breath. "I couldn't stop thinking of you when you didn't say goodbye at the Penguin Park".

"You didn't even said goodbye when you left for England", Tomoyo reminded, breaking from the hug. She gave a wry smile. "That's just fair!" He chuckled as his eyes are now really seen on the moonlight. It was a perfect shade of blue. And she was drowning in them.

"So has my little sister had a boyfriend already?" That caught her attention. She looked away.

"No", was her curt reply. "I'm still…still…"

"Still what little sis.?" Eriol asked as he was still looking at her.

"Still…waiting for…"she looked at him and he already knew the answer. She was waiting for him. "I hope you know the answer to that".

"Yeah…I already did". His gaze shifted down at the garden. "You still love me".

"I can't let go".

"You have to. You're suffering too much".

"I'm trying but my fragile heart doesn't want to".

"You had to let go little sis."

"I'm trying but I still love you!" Tomoyo blurted out and looked at him. She shifted her gaze. "I'm sorry. I was doing my best Oniichan I just can't-"

"I never knew why you love me even though I don't even know what you see in me!" he interrupted. He sighed and holds her hand. "I'm the reason why you're feeling so much pain. I'm the reason why or maybe you still don't have a boyfriend". She chuckled to that.

"Maybe you'll be the reason why I'll remain single until the day I die", Tomoyo said. Eriol holds her face.

"Don't say things like that!" And that made her quiet. "I'm so sorry little sis."

"Don't be. I'm not Oniichan. You taught me everything even though you didn't say it. You'll always be the reason my love is tested everyday and it grows stronger. But I thank God we're still friends coz' I wouldn't love you much more than now". She paused as he stared at her. "I still love you".

"Little sis…"before Eriol could continue Kaho came.

"Eriol let's go. Happy birthday again Tomoyo-san", Kaho said looking at Tomoyo. Tomoyo thank God Kaho didn't notice Eriol's hand on her cheek.

"Thank you Kaho-san. Do take care on your way home", the birthday girl reminded.

"We will". Eriol kissed Tomoyo's cheek and whispered "I love you little sis." Then he stepped back and smiled and went to Kaho as they went down. Tomoyo smiled to herself touching her cheek. How could she ever let go of him? She doesn't know and doesn't want to know. Somehow she knew Eriol was already outside as she looked out and saw him looking at her. She smiled and waved her hand. He smiled too and nodded as they went inside his car. She sighed. She would still love him like the time when she was sixteen.

She would wait for him coz' she wanted to feel his love…for a moment…not his brotherly love but more than that.

She knew she was ambitious but if he could give her a chance, just once then maybe she would finally learn to let go.

But for now he was still the man she thought was for him.

She still loves him.

Still waits for him…

End


End file.
